Emotional conversations with Esther Johnson
Empowering Growth Through Accountability
Ever felt like your past is holding you back from living your fullest life? Join me on 'Emotional Conversations with Esther' as I share a nostalgic July 4th memory and honor our veterans, before diving into the complexities of personal responsibility. From reflecting on the pressures that arise as we enter the third quarter of the year to discussing the infamous Drake and Kendrick Lamar beef, this episode is packed with heartfelt stories and thought-provoking insights.
Finally, let's talk about the importance of accountability and personal growth, especially within relationships. With personal anecdotes and practical tips, I emphasize the value of journaling, self-assessment, and surrounding yourself with supportive individuals.
Responsibility | Apostle Emmanuel Adewusi | CCCG
https://www.youtube.com/live/vya-YdnmqSA?si=KRamSfvDO4UWVKTU
Send me your inspirational stories and feedback! We want to hear from you ❤️.
Ever felt like your past is holding you back from living your fullest life? Join me on 'Emotional Conversations with Esther' as I share a nostalgic July 4th memory and honor our veterans, before diving into the complexities of personal responsibility. From reflecting on the pressures that arise as we enter the third quarter of the year to discussing the infamous Drake and Kendrick Lamar beef, this episode is packed with heartfelt stories and thought-provoking insights.
Finally, let's talk about the importance of accountability and personal growth, especially within relationships. With personal anecdotes and practical tips, I emphasize the value of journaling, self-assessment, and surrounding yourself with supportive individuals.
Responsibility | Apostle Emmanuel Adewusi | CCCG
https://www.youtube.com/live/vya-YdnmqSA?si=KRamSfvDO4UWVKTU
Send me your inspirational stories and feedback! We want to hear from you ❤️.
welcome back to speaking arrangements. Y'all. Welcome back to emotional conversations with esther. I'm gonna let the beat right out there. We're back. It's me again. Thank you guys so much for joining me on emotional conversations with esther. It's big esther, never the little. There's just so much going on and I'm so excited to be here with you guys and I'm happy that you guys are here. You guys are so amazing. Thank you for always supporting me. Shout out to the first time listeners, last time listeners, always listeners, listen. I'm here for it. Thank you so much for being here. I don't even know where do I start. There's just been so much.
Speaker 1:It's July, it's July 4th. So shout out to all my American listeners all around the world Happy July 4th. I work for an American company, so I got July 1st off, but I didn't get July 4th off. I was working. Okay, I was working. I was like the only person there, but I hope everybody had a safe July 4th. I hope everybody had fun.
Speaker 1:I remember when I was younger in my neighborhood we were ghetto. I lived in a hood child, so they used to shoot each other with firecrackers and I remember my younger brother one time went outside trying to be brave. They shot that man in the back with that firecracker bun, up his whole back. It was a whole thing. And then he came home and got beats for getting burnt with a firecracker Listen, with a firecracker. Listen, I don't know. Parents, backwards, backwards. He's hurt man down. Like, um, yeah, so shout out to everybody, fourth of july. Um, all our veterans out there like, yeah, god is good, because it takes a different kind of person, a different kind of dedication and responsibility for someone to want to go and fight for their country. So, thank everyone, thank you all for your service. Yeah, we're gonna get into. Yeah, we're going to get into some things today. We're going to get into some real things, but they not like us. They not like us. Okay, listen, I'm a fan of Drake. Okay, I'm a fan of Drake, but I love Kendrick. Kendrick is one of my favorite artists ever. I'm a fan of Drake too.
Speaker 1:This whole beef has been very, very entertaining. Hopefully you can just stay on wax and not get in the streets, but it's looking like it's about to pour over in the streets. Hopefully, not. You know what I mean, but you know, kendrick dropped his video today, on the 4th of july. Kendrick like okay, we understand. Okay, you won, you annihilated. You showed who you are as an artist big yourself up. The video was very good, it was very entertaining. I just wanted to be on wax.
Speaker 1:Hopefully these guys can come back together and like, do music, because I feel like both like, when they do music it's so good, it's so positive. You know what I mean. And I feel like us, the fans, we really perpetuated a lot of this drama. But yeah, so hopefully they can get. But I love that sound. They not like it, they not like it, they not like it. No, yeah, I actually really it's a bop. It's a bop for sure. But you know, drake, he's going to come drop some music for the summer, I'm sure. And yeah, they're just going to get, they're going to get to it. They're going to let it do what it do.
Speaker 1:But today we are talking about some real things. Okay, we're talking about taking responsibility. So we are in the third quarter of the year. Quickly, we have like six months. Okay, it's not over. We're still in the game. God is good, we're still breathing.
Speaker 1:Okay, as long as you're still breathing, listen, the Lord has a plan for you, and I'm here to just talk to you really quickly, because I went to church today and the Lord said sit down, sit down. I got a word for you today and y'all know I be preaching, y'all know the Holy Ghost be doing his thing, but I'm not here to really preach to y'all. I want to have a conversation. I want to give you guys you know some, I want to give you guys no-transcript. You're just going, going, going, going, going, going going and then there's like a slump and if you don't like fight against the tide, if you don't know you're, you're fighting for your life. You are going to go down and stay down and then you're going to wake up in December and be like what happened. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:There's like a pressure. There's some type of demonic pressure, slash like depression that comes around this time, telling people that they won't finish well, telling people that they haven't done anything for the year, telling people that there's no more time. Like. If you have experienced this, then you know, like I've experienced, that I know people that are haven't done anything for the year, telling people that there's no more time. Like, if you have experienced this, then you know, like I've experienced it, I know people that are going through it right now Like these are people that have done a lot of things and you know, here at Emotional Conversations with Esther, we are not our productivity.
Speaker 1:We are human beings, we are children of God. We are loved, even if we are not doing anything. We're loved by Christ. But we all have goals, we have aspirations, we have things that we want to do. You know we want, you know we have, we have, we have purpose and we have vision and, of course, we want to follow up on that right, at least try our best to. So when you know around, this time, I find, is where the pressure is on. Third quarter, you know what I mean. Like fourth quarter is almost among us. It's like six months, but you don't know what six months can do to your life if you buckle down. You have. You don't even know what three months can do to your life if you buckle down and really like revalue what the things that you want to do and take responsibility, and that's what we're here to talk about today.
Speaker 1:Okay, I went to church yesterday and the Lord listen, the Lord had a word for me and I just want to pass it on to you. I'm going to actually link the sermon in the description of this podcast, because I want you guys to go watch it, because I was so blessed. I was so blessed. I was so blessed by this word. I know that this word is like going to change my life and I'm going to break it down. I'm really going to go. You guys know me, I've been going all over the place, but I'm really going to try to take us on, take us on a journey.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean when it comes to, like us taking responsibility for our lives, us taking responsibility for our mental health, our health, our thoughts, our relationships, our finances. You know what I mean Our friendships, our careers, our if you're an entrepreneur, whatever it is. We need to take responsibility. And I'm speaking to myself because you know, I want to speak to the people that have been hurt and have been traumatized and have been left behind, rejected, and you know what I mean Just forsaken. If you feel like you've been forsaken and whatever, and you've gone through some things in life, I'm speaking to you because I was one of those people until the Lord done changed my life. Tonight.
Speaker 1:We, you know, we hold on to our traumas and sometimes they can become a clutch. And I'm not trying to be insensitive because I was that person too and I'm working through that right now. You know, when you've been through a lot, when you've been abused, when you've been abandoned, like I said, and you've just been gone, you've gone through some stuff, whether it be family stuff, some mental health stuff, like financial stuff, like maybe going through bankruptcy, and you just feel alone when, as you, as you start to grow in life, and you know those things can become traumas. And when you, when you have trauma or you've been through things, like I said, you know we can use our experiences of abuse and different things that we've been through as a clutch, like I get to act like this because I've been through this and it sounds right, it sounds justified. You know what I mean, and sometimes it is. I'm not going to say it's not, sometimes it is. I'm not going to say and say it's not, sometimes it is.
Speaker 1:What do you tell a child that was abused by their own father or abused by their own mother, or abandoned by their parents or, you know, given up for adoption, where they just don't they feel like they don't know who they're like? What do you tell people like that? You know what I mean that, hey, like your experience is not valid. No, our experiences are valid. But one thing that you know what I mean that, hey, like your experience is not valid. No, our experiences are valid. But one thing that I know and I've experienced is, like I use the pain as a clutch.
Speaker 1:Some I used to use the pain as a clutch where it was something that I could lean on, because I felt like I didn't have anything that I could really lean on. But I felt like I can lean on my experiences and what I've been through and and that subconsciously told me that I didn't have to take responsibility for my life. I didn't have to take responsibility for the things that I was doing, or aspirations or visions or anything that I had because of what I had been through. You know what I mean. I don't want to say it was an excuse, but sometimes I did use it as an excuse because I was hurting. I was truly hurting, I was truly bleeding, I was truly going through it and when I didn't have anybody to you know, there was a time where I didn't know about, I didn't really care about therapy, I was just going through it. I was running rampant, like you know what I mean I was. I was still like my inner child, was still scared, still no protection felt, abandoned. You know what I mean I'm talking to to you guys.
Speaker 1:I hope that you guys can listen to this podcast and really be empowered, because a lot of times and I'm not talking and once again I want to say that, like you, everything that we've been through I, you know, we're special people and everything that we've been through is an experience. But we have to use our experiences to help and set other people free. We have to use our experience for something. We can't make it go to waste. We can't just go through life and be like you know what I've been through stuff and, yeah, like that's just, that's just me, and this is why I act this way and this is why I talk this way and this is why I have anger issues or this is why I've become an abuser, because I was abused like, listen, everything that we've been through is absolutely valid.
Speaker 1:But you know, I hope that this podcast will help us break free, you know, for us to take control and full responsibility for our life. You know what I mean. We can't blame society, we can't blame our parents. We can't blame our friends. We can't blame our abusers. Like, their day will come, the Lord will deal with them, life will deal with them, but we need to take back our power. We need to take back our power.
Speaker 1:For a long time, I let my abusers have the power over my life. They controlled how I felt, they controlled how I thought, they controlled how I looked at myself and how I perceived myself, and we don't want to do that anymore. You know what I mean. We don't. We need to under. I want to break down responsibility, like the definition. Let me. Let me read the definition of responsibility. Okay, so it's recognizing that you are the primary agent in your life. You are the primary agent. If you want to break it down in spiritual terms, you are the first prophet over your life. Okay, you prophesy into your own life. You speak life into your own life. That is your responsibility. That is absolutely your responsibility.
Speaker 1:Yes, we have parents and a lot of us. Our parents didn't do right by us. Ok, because their parents didn't do right by them. It's been just a vicious cycle, but we are here to break that generational curse. We are here to take back our power. We are here to take back our power. We are here to set captives free. We are here to set people free and let them know that. No, no, no, no, no, like it stops here. It stops with us. I'm going to like, listen, I'm going to do, I'm going to record a podcast about generational curse curses and what that looks like and how. You know some of the vicious, you know the abuse that we go through and the patterns and how it just continues unless we.
Speaker 1:Someone stands up. And let me tell you something when you're building from the ground up, when you are building from scratch, you think the devil's going to get off your back. You're about like you're the first person that went to school in your family. You're the first person that has financial freedom in your family. You're the first person that has financial freedom in your family. You think the devil's gonna let up. Absolutely not. You're the first person to um be able to be a city of refuge for people. You know what I mean. You're the first person to bring healing to people. You think the devil's gonna get off your back. He's not gonna get off your back. The sooner we understand that, the sooner we recognize that and get up and stop crying like this.
Speaker 1:I am an emotional babe. That's why this is called emotional conversations with Esther. Like, when people used to call me emotional back in the day, I used to get so angry because, you know, being emotional has like a negative connotation that comes with it. But I really am an emotional babe. I feel people's pain. You know what I mean. There's a reason for that. It's a gift really, babe. I feel people's pain. You know what I mean. There's a reason for that. It's a gift really. That's the. You know that's the way I used to. That's one of the gifts that I use to communicate with other people and understand people's sufferings and hurtings and experiences. I get to connect with people. Like that it's beautiful. Like it really is beautiful.
Speaker 1:Like a lot of people try to like, use it against me and you know they want to do wrong by you and then turn around and be like oh, you're emotional, no, actually you're just evil or a psychopath, and that's okay, like you have to like. But you know, I'm speaking from this place because I'm learning who I am and I'm learning the gifts that the Lord has given me. So I, you know, I really today, like the Lord really really spoke to me and I was like, wow, like I haven't been taking responsibility from a lot of my life. You know what I mean. I haven't. I haven't really been taking responsibility for a lot of my life.
Speaker 1:And starting today, this very second, the minute that you're playing this podcast, wherever you are, you can begin to take responsibility for your life, your thoughts, your actions, your emotions, because that's super important, excuse me, that's super, super important. So, and it's crucial, like you know what I mean, like you have to take responsibility for your personal growth. You know what I mean. You have to, and I want to. Hopefully, by the end of this podcast, you guys will have some practical steps on how, you know, you can do that right, because once you take responsibility for your, your life, it leads to empowerment, it leads to freedom, control of your over your own destiny.
Speaker 1:Like you know, other people can't control your destiny, no matter what's going on. Other people can't control the outcome of your life. You know what I mean. Yes, our parents were supposed to be there for us, and you know things happen to. Our parents were supposed to be there for us and you know things happened to us and that's that was their responsibility, because we were children and we you know what I mean. But now we're adults and even if you're a child, or even if you're a teenager and you're listening, whatever, like you can begin to be like okay, all right, I know this is going wrong for me, but how can I help? Because I am the. You know, I'm the primary person in my life. You know what I mean. I'm the primary component when it comes to my life, on how things can can become and how I can live my life going forward.
Speaker 1:So, you know, I kind of want to talk about that and, of course, I'm going to share some of my experiences because, you know, for me, I felt like I blamed a lot on my parents, my bio parents, for a very long time. You know what I mean like a lot, a lot, a lot like, yeah, like one of the, like a couple of the barriers for me when it came to like taking responsibility for my life. Subconsciously, like in my subconscious, because you never think that you're actually just doing anything. Some people just don't care and they don't want to take responsibility. They want to blame everybody. They want to blame culture, blame, you know, society, blame their parents, blame the family that they came out of the school, that they went to the, the church, that they went to the people that they are around. Like I said, all those things can be valid, but it comes to a point where we have to essentially stop that.
Speaker 1:Right Like right now, the society that we live in is broken. It's backwards, it's definitely broken and we could blame a lot of the dysfunction that we have in our lives on society. But we can empower ourselves to become better and I think one thing that I really understand like I hear a lot sorry is that, like people, you know they don't make them like they used to anymore. They don't make men like they used to anymore. They don't make women like they used to anymore. You know, back in the day, this one, like we, you can be that person that you're searching for.
Speaker 1:If you're searching for someone that is solid, if you're searching for someone that is loving, that is full of light, that is willing to um compromise, meet you where you're at, an effective listener, someone that truly loves you and cares about you, you can be that person. You can be that thing that you're looking for. You really can, and it's not easy, it's an everyday thing. It's definitely an everyday thing, but we can be the light that we're looking for. We can be the people that we are looking to connect with. You can be that business owner that you're looking to connect with. You. Can be that investor that you're looking to connect with. You can be that friend that you're looking to connect with. You can be that friend that you're looking to connect with. You. Can be that partner, that life partner that you're looking to connect with. You can become that now. You know what I mean. You can take responsibility and become that now. You really, really can.
Speaker 1:And that means coming out of your comfort zone, like when we want to stay in familiar places. Listen, it's unfulfilling. It's honestly unfulfilling. Like come out of your comfort zone. Come out of your comfort zone like challenge yourself to be that person that you're looking for, take responsibility for your actions, take responsibility for your anger, take responsibility, responsibility for your mouth. I'm talking to myself right now because you guys, if you know me, then you know that I have an issue with people playing with me. Don't play with me, because I play back and my enemy goes low. You know what I mean. That's why I don't really like to be going back and forth with people and fighting with people, because I can do it all day. I can do it all day and I don't want to. So I had to realize that I had to take responsibility over my words. I had to take responsibility over my thoughts and my actions and my emotions.
Speaker 1:Yes, people will provoke you, they will provoke you, but it's up to you on what you are going to do and how you are going to react when storms come in our lives. It's up to us on how we are going to react. That's a major thing. In the Bible it says that tribulation will come. Like it says in the Bible, the tribulation, it will come, but the Lord will be with you. And when we say the Lord will be with you, it's really how you are going to act when the challenges come, when the storms come. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:When the doctor gives you that diagnosis, god forbid. Or you get fired from that job, or you know what I mean your marriage is falling apart, or friendships are falling apart, whatever your business might not be doing well, how we react to that, it's all about us taking responsibility. We can't let life happen to us. We can't let life just happen to us. We have to fight back and in fighting back, you are going to continue to hear this word in this podcast. It's taking responsibility.
Speaker 1:Okay, listen, let me talk to you guys about, like, some of the benefits of that I've seen lately. Okay, when it comes to me really taking responsibility for my mental health, for my health, for my resources, for my relationships, for my resources for my relationships, like, my life has been changing. The fact that you guys even hear me on this podcast is because I took responsibility and I said I no longer want to come on this microphone and speak to people that take their time to listen to this podcast and say y'all pray for me. Yes, y'all pray for me. Continue to pray for me, believe that, because I need all the prayers, but I'm taking responsibility to be consistent. Today you have heard me. I'm not perfect, but I'm taking responsibility to be consistent, to share the light that I have with other people and pray that it blesses someone, that it sets someone free, that it even plants a seed to germinate.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying you're going to listen to this podcast or listen to a sermon or read a book and you know your whole life is going to change, but you can literally change your subconscious continue to try every day that you get up, like today, I'm taking responsibility for my emotions. I'm taking responsibility for my thoughts, any negative thoughts, I'm bringing them down. You know what I mean being intentional, taking responsibility is being intentional Really. It's the same thing being intentional about your life, being intentional about everything around you. There's so many benefits, like your personal growth, it just accelerates. You know what I mean. But let me, let me. Let me tell you what people might call the downside of taking responsibility for things. I don't think it's a downside. I think it's a win win situation. But we can potentially look at it and be like, okay, well, that doesn't.
Speaker 1:You know, when you start to take responsibility and become accountable for your life, things and relationships and they start to fall off. Okay, I seen that for myself. I've experienced it for myself when I was like you know what? Now I'm going to show up for myself. I'm going to take accountability for my reactions to people. I'm going to take accountability for my thoughts, my health, my resources.
Speaker 1:Listen, things can't stay the same. Things just can't stay the same, because people are used to you being dumb. People are used to you being you know what I mean Like cowering. People are used to you just being a doormat for them. People are used to you being an ATM machine. People are used to you being a yes man. When you turn around and your no is your no and your yes is your yes, those people can't be around you anymore. It's going to be a struggle and that might be family. That might be friends that you've known since sandbox. That might be you know what I mean. A workplace, a manager, whatever situation. Hopefully not your husband or wife, but it just might be. You know what I mean. It just might be Now. If those people are willing to take responsibility too, then you guys can grow together. It might be rocky a little bit there. You know what I mean, but eventually you guys can come together.
Speaker 1:But if you are in a situation where you're trying to accelerate your learning for yourself and your development, you know you're trying to build relationships. You're trying to build trust and respect for each other and people around you and the things around you. You're trying to, like, enhance the decisions that you're making. You know your problem solving skills, like, like, and you find that other it's just not working with other people. You need to take responsibility and take yourself away from that situation.
Speaker 1:I wish I knew this, my God. I wish I knew this. I wish I knew this. But God is good, because God reveals to redeem. Believe that he reveals to redeem. No matter at what age you are at, you can change your life around. I'm here to tell you that. Don't let anyone tell you that it's over. You are breathing, you are alive. The Lord can listen. He will take your mess and make it into a message. And that's the truth. Believe that, even when you don't feel like believing it, he will take your mess and make it into a message. He really will. He really will. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So people might be like well, I'm losing family members, I'm losing friends, I'm losing my relationship. Those are probably not situations that you want to be in, because you want to be your best self. You want to show up as your best self. You want to be happy, you want to be filled with joy, you want to be healing. You want to have light to give to other people. You want to be unproblematic. You want to you know what I mean bring peace. You want to be a city of refuge for people. You want to be able to pull people up as you go up, so that they can pull other people up. That's the only way we can fix our society. That's the only way we can fix our communities, our homes, our schools, our hospitals. You know what I mean. That's the only way. So when you feel like, hey, I've been. You know, I listened to this podcast, I read this book, whatever I'm making up my mind to be intentional and take responsibility for my actions and my life and you know my emotions and my thinking process and my mindset it's a mindset thing and you know people around you are just not really shaking and moving with you.
Speaker 1:Sis, you might have to brother, you might have to stand on that island by yourself, and that's okay. Because one thing about God never have I seen the righteous forsaken, never have I seen the righteous forsaken. It might look like it, but never have I seen the righteous forsaken. The Lord will send you those people. You will attract the right people. You will attract the right community. You will attract the right job. You will attract the right business partner. You will attract the right spaces and rooms, because not every room you're supposed to be in Can we talk about that Not every room you are supposed to be in, and that is a fact. You people try to continue to kick down these doors that you're not supposed to, these rooms that you're not supposed to be in, including myself that I'm not supposed to be in. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:When you take responsibility for your life, you take responsibility for your vision and your purpose. You know what I mean. And my vision doesn't look like your vision and your vision doesn't look like other people's vision, and you know what I mean. We're all different, we're all unique. We're all a part of the body we're supposed to. You know all stand in our lanes and watch our front, okay, and mind our business and do what we're supposed to do so we can come together and it can be a holistic situation and do what we're supposed to do so we can come together and it can be a holistic situation, but a lot of times we don't do that. You know, I really wish that I, for a long time, honestly, like for a long time man, I blamed my bio, parents, my siblings, my church, the word God. I don't blame everybody.
Speaker 1:And because when you've been through a lot, you want to offload. That's real, that's a real feeling when you've been, when you feel like you've been carrying the world, the weight of the world, you want to find someone in offload. You want to find somewhere in offload. You know what I mean. And some and a lot of times when we're offloading, we're not doing it in the right way, we're not doing it a healthy way. You know?
Speaker 1:Listen, like it says in the Bible, that a friend is closer than a brother. And when you find that person, or God brings that person in your life or that community whoever mentor, father, friend, mother, whoever you know you can say like, hey, I'm going through a tough time, I'm going through a tough time, can you carry this burden with me? Can you carry this burden with me? That, okay, that's all right. Listen, there's a friend that is closer than a brother. And I wish for everyone that's listening that you find your community, that you find your tribe, that you find the people that truly just love you for who you are and that when you show up you're, they admire your light, they love your light, they gravitate towards your light. I pray that you find people that make you feel like a king and a queen, value your words, value the love that you give and really care about you. I really pray for that, for everyone. It is my prayer that everybody will find that.
Speaker 1:And if you haven't, and you know, if you're looking for, you know a community where you can start to maybe essentially find those people or your tribe, or, you know, find yourself a local church, even if you don't believe in God, just try it. You know what I mean. People are here trying all different types of different religions. Like, listen, try it. You guys can come on down to Cornerstone Christian Church of God. It's on 50th Street, 9249 50th Street.
Speaker 1:Okay, I found my tribe, which was jesus christ. I found my tribe, which was sorry, excuse me, amazing mentors. You know a great shepherd over the house, pastor emmanuel adewisi, like, just, I mean apostle emmanuel davis, just great pastor ibukum she's, um, you know pastor emmanuel adewisi's wife just great leaders, great mentors that take responsibility for the sheep that the Lord, because, listen, they are shepherds. You know what I mean. They are shepherds and they take great responsibility over their sheep. So if you're looking for somewhere where you can find community, community where you're just like you know what I just I just need someone to talk to. I want to be around community, I want to meet different people, even if you want to network. Come on down to the house of the Lord. Okay, come on down with the house of the Lord with an open mind and a pure heart.
Speaker 1:Now let's get back to our scheduled program, our regular scheduled program. So I think that the first thing that you can do because I want to give us practical steps Okay, I don't want to make this complicated I think the first thing that we can do is a self-assessment. I'm doing this currently. It's a never-ending thing. I think you do this through life. It's a self-assessment, you know.
Speaker 1:Just reflect on the areas where you know you tend to deflect your responsibility. You know what I mean. Like, for me, it was my emotions. I gave people the power over my emotions. I've, like, you made me feel like this, you did this, you did that, you did that you did. I feel like this because of you. And let me be real, like, a lot of times people were hurting me and taking advantage of me and stuff like that, but I gave them the power. So I would really deflect when it came to, like, my emotions and the pain that I felt and the way that I acted, and I deflected a lot. You know, when you know I've I've heard this many times like you're um, what's the word?
Speaker 1:You're projecting, and sometimes people be doing stuff, wild stuff, to you and say you're projecting, listen, like you have to have the spirit of discernment too, because some of them some of them people, some of them folks is lines, lines and cheetahs. You need to get them lines and cheetahs. Know what I mean. I know and I can take responsibility for that. I mean, I'm not perfect, we're not always going to get it right, but we can be intentional. And you also have to be around people that are willing to give you the room to grow, the room to change, the room to empower you. To empower you, you have to be around people that have the capacity to love. You know what I mean. If you're around people that don't have the capacity to love and they're burnt out, it's not going to work, baby. You know. That's where you just need to reevaluate and just be like, okay, maybe I need to be by myself right now Because you can give yourself the love that you're looking for right.
Speaker 1:So you know, do a self-assessment of, like, what you're going through or the things that you find that you tend to deflect responsibility. Like you know, you really deflect in that area. I think that's great journaling, journaling, journaling your thoughts and your patterns of the people that you blame and the excuses and the vicious cycles. You will see, like I know, for me, like I was, I was going through like a vicious cycle. I just kept going through it. I just kept going through it and it took someone to be like okay, sis, this is the pattern and it was like clear as day. It's like a light bulb went off for me.
Speaker 1:But journaling, journaling, will change your life. Journaling just like making sure that, if you don't have anybody to offload, to offloading your thoughts from your mind to paper, listen, journaling your thoughts, your patterns and like the blame excuses that you like the excuses that you have, the people you tend to blame, that will really make you more self-aware. That will honestly truly make you way more self-aware. So like reflect, sit down, reflect, turn the netflix off, turn everything off and reflect. Take some time to just reflect on your life and the things that you've been through. You know what I mean the way that you react to things, some of the patterns where you deflect the most, where it hurts, where it's like a soft, like it's a. It's a wound. Still, you know what I mean. Journal your thoughts. Journal the patterns. Journal the you know the vicious cycles and the people that you blame. Journal that. You know what I mean. Offload your thoughts. Like that helps with your mental health.
Speaker 1:Every listen, every psychiatrist I've ever seen, therapist that I've ever seen journaling is a major key. It's a major, major, major key. So once you do that because listen is listen, this is not an overnight thing, it's an everyday thing. You know what I mean. It's an intentional thing, it's taking responsibility thing Then you can set some clear goals. You know what I mean For me, like I have to. I really, really cause I think a lot. I think a lot, so I have to offload a lot of my thoughts onto paper and I like to offload a lot of my thoughts. That's why I have a podcast, because I like to offload a lot of my thoughts and my experiences and it really helps me and it's super therapeutic. You know what I mean. So I would do this even if nobody was listening, because it really helps me when it comes to a lot of, like, my mental health and things like that. But, yeah, set some clear goals. You know what I mean. I think that will really help you, like define what it is that you want. You know what I mean In the different areas of your life.
Speaker 1:So you know career relationship, your health. You know your finances, your mental health. Like, set clear boundaries, define what it is that you're looking for. Like hey, I'm taking responsibility for my health in this way. I'm taking and it doesn't have to be major goals Like so if you're, let's just say you don't, you're not good with money, you know you don't have a good relationship with money.
Speaker 1:Every time you get paid you just blow a bag everywhere. Like you don't, you don't save, you don't do anything. You can literally just be like I'm going to start taking responsibility or I'm going to start being intentional about my finances by opening up a savings account. Like take a step. You know what I mean, just take a step. It says close mouth, close mouths, don't get fed. That's what that's you know. That's what I'm straight say.
Speaker 1:But the bible says you know the lord will, he is your shepherd, he is your rear guard. Once you, once you start to do it says arise and shine. You have to arise so the lord can help you shine. You know what I mean. So you know, like I said, small goals. You can start with some small goals. You know the funny things too. Society's always like. You know.
Speaker 1:I love those gurus that come around and be like, yeah, I had an awakening and I was able to write 65 books in 10 days. And you can do it too when you buy this package. Like that is $17,000. Like that's fugazi stuff, that's, that's honestly, that's honestly BS. Like listen, little drops you. You know that little drops of water can that consistently drops on a rock and crack the rock. Little, little improvements. Every diary entry, every time you sit down and self-reflect, every time that you're intentional about something, every time that you remember to be intentional about something, it builds consistency. Consistency will get you to where you're going. It amasses, it's like a snowball effect. That's one thing that I had to learn. Like that is a key.
Speaker 1:Like when people like okay, you know, that's why the study of the year, the gyms make so much money because people are going to are saying that in December 31st, you know they're eating all the junk food and dah, dah, dah. But January 1st they're going to just cut all that junk food and da, da, da. But january 1st they're going to just cut all that junk food and cut all the sugar out. They're just gonna go to the gym and they're gonna be ripped and they're gonna wear their gym shirt clothes and just know. Like it's a lie, it's smoking mirrors, it's not real. Like you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Make small goals, set clear goals, even if they're little. Like you open the bank account. Maybe you never put any money in it yet, but you've opened the bank account. Maybe you never put any money in it yet, but you've opened the bank account. You've opened the savings account. Then you push yourself, you push yourself, continue to set small goals'm continuing to work on is my thoughts, my mindset. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So declarations and meditation have really, really, really, really, really helped me, and my church has this thing called our meditation. It's, you know, it's guided meditation with Dr Emmanuel and he just guides us through medication. You know what I mean and it's, it's amazing, amazing and it clears my mind. I get to offload and I come out feeling light and it really helps me with my mental health because I want to show up as my best self and I've all you know, for a long time I've had issues with my mindset. You know what I mean the Lord will pray for me. I mean the Lord will pray for me, I'll be prayed for, I'll be prayed for, I'll be like, but my mindset wasn't changing. I was getting opportunities, going to new environments, but my mindset, it was still the same. So I write, I do this, I write these, I write these small goals down. I journal, I meditate. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:I listen declarations, declarations, declarations. I know it sounds crazy, but I speak to myself. You know, even when I don't feel like it, you know, I tell myself. You know, like for a long time, when I was younger, they told me that I had ADHD, if that's what it is, adhd. So you know, for even now I, you know I can't really focus for a really long time If I'm, if that, what, what I'm doing, is not really, you know, like entertaining to me, and you know what I mean Like I can't sit still for really really long periods of time, and you know what I mean. So but I declare over myself that I have the mind of Christ, that I have the mind of Jesus Christ. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:I declare to myself, even when I feel like those things are, like you know, it's rearing its ugly head. Like I, I listen, I have the mind of Jesus Christ period, like that's the goal that I have for me. You know what I mean. It doesn't that doesn't have to be for you, but I'm just saying that for my mindset, that's the goal. Those are the small goals that I've been using. They've really been helping me keep my mindset positive, light, um, full of full of light, and I am able to navigate, I'm not bogged down, I don't have that brain fog that I usually have and depression and mental health. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So really do that and then break it down, like I said, into like small actionable goals and steps that you can take. This is very easy like listen, set clear goals. So define what it is that you you know the different areas that you find that you usually reflect, deflect in and deflect responsibility in and then break them down into small actionable goals. You know what I mean. You have to develop a growth mindset. You just have to push through every single day. You're not going to get it every day, you're not going to hit the bullseye every single day, but every day that you wake up you say, say I'm going to be responsible for my life today. I'm going to try my very best to do that. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:And and another thing for me, like I don't really believe in, like I I don't really believe in horoscopes. I feel like horoscopes are just, like you know, people that have like studied a group of people that are born a certain month and stuff, and and a lot of the traits are the same, to be really honest. But let's just say we're talking about horoscopes. I'm a Taurus, you know what I mean. They say we don't like change and I find that I really don't like you know, for a long time I didn't like change, like I wanted everything to stay the same.
Speaker 1:Because when I was younger, there was a lot of chaos in my family and you know my bio father would leave and come back and it was just never stable. So I always wanted things to stay the same, because when you know, for me in my mind, things staying the same, it meant stability. For me, all I ever wanted was stability, a stable relationship, a stable friendship, a stable job, a stable you know what I mean. I wanted just a stable, quiet, cool, calm life. But that's just not what I was thrown into. You know what I mean. And now I know that that's just not the hands that were dealt to me.
Speaker 1:But for me, now I'm developing like a growth mindset. So I'm embracing challenges, I'm embracing like different opportunities to learn, to open my mind, to connect with someone that's different from me. To connect with someone that's different from me. That's something that I used to not be able to do, like if we didn't really agree. Then I was like, oh, you're not the person. No, I want to be able to have a healthy, communicative, you know um conversation with someone that doesn't believe in God, that doesn't love God. And you know, I want to be able to have like a healthy conversation with them and ask questions and agree to disagree. Like that's something that I'm really working on.
Speaker 1:When it comes to my mindset, you know what I mean Replacing all the negative self-talk that I used to have with positive affirmations, like just telling yourself every day. Like every day I tell myself I'm like, I'm a solution, I'm a city set on a hill, I'm the salt of this earth, I'm a queen, I am a solution, I'm an answer prayer, I'm a kingdom financier. I'm here to set captives free. Like I try I speak to myself. I speak life into myself before I can ever want other people to speak life into me. I gotta take responsibility for myself. I gotta show up for the inner child in me. I have to stand up. Like I don't know if you guys ever see that meme or that video where she's like stand up, stand up. Like that's what I'd be telling myself. Like let's go, let's go big E never the little. Like you know what I mean. You got this God. You are God's child. You know what I mean. Like I try my best. Like, listen, I'm not going to say I hit the bullseye every single day, but I'm trying, I'm pushing through, no matter, because we can't become a helping hand to anybody else if we're just bogged down. You know what I mean. So really, really like, replace that negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Like you don't have to wake up and be like today I'm going to do 100 affirmations. If it's just one and you continue to repeat it to yourself every single day, you know, maybe you might remember at lunch, you might remember before you go to sleep. Like I am a child of God, I have the mind of Jesus Christ. Just those two affirmations. You know what that can do for your day? Do you know what that can do for your day? Listen, develop a growth mindset.
Speaker 1:Now let's talk about accountability. Okay, you can find accountability you can have an accountability partner or like an accountability coach. But take accountability for when you don't take responsibility, when you don't take responsibility, don't blame yourself. This is not about blaming yourself when you don't get it right or when you fall short or you make a mistake, like no, that's demonic, that's not what we're here to do. When you don't, you know, take responsibility.
Speaker 1:You might have got a little bit heated in that argument. You know what I mean and said some things that you didn't want to say. You didn't take accountability for your actions. Like you know what I mean, you didn't take responsibility for your actions. Like you, take an accountability will really help. You know what I mean. Like, if you have people around you that can be an accountability partner, then go ahead and get that, but regular, like you know, regularly review and self-assess, like your progress. You know what I mean Adjust where you need to adjust and keep it moving. You know what I mean Take and keep it moving. You know what I mean Take an action oriented approach, guys.
Speaker 1:Focus on what you can control. This is so big, I'm talking to myself. Focus on what you can control. Don't focus on the things that you can't control. How people treat you you cannot control that. How you treat yourself you can control that. What you think you can control that. You know what I mean. Where you're at, where you put yourself physically, you can control that. You know what I mean. Where you're at, where you put yourself physically, you can control that. You know what I mean. How you spend your money, the relationship you have with yourself and your money and your people. Like you can control those things. But the things like that you can't control, like how people treat you, how people perceive you. Like you need to let that go Because you can't. You can't those narratives that people make about you. Like you cannot control that. You can't pretend. Be yourself. Show up as your authentic self. That's taking accountability, that's taking responsibility. That's being intentional. You know what I mean. Focus on what you can control. That's all you can do. Listen, it's small, consistent actions towards your goals, guys. Small, consistent actions will snowball into something that you will be able to help other people like. That will be your path, your gift, and you'll be able to help other people. And you'll be shocked. You know what I mean. You will be absolutely shocked, like.
Speaker 1:I really want to talk about an area of my life where I never took accountability and it's when it came to men. You know what I mean. Men and these dang on relationships and whatever they were. You know, when I was younger, I was a daddy's girl. My bio dad hey, listen, he sad story. You know black american story. I don't drink said that one time, but he wasn't there. He was in my life. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So, of course, as a child, a young girl, growing up, I just kept dating men. They were, were like my father emotionally unavailable. I'm unavailable. That was a listen, that was the story, that was the song of my life. Ok, back in the day. But the Lord done changed my life. Ok, and I still listen, I still got to watch it. If I'm being transparent, I still got to be like, ok, well, this is looking familiar, oh, this is looking familiar. You know, when I reassessed, this is looking familiar and now it's giving almost the same. No, I need to take myself away from the situation.
Speaker 1:So I dated a lot of guys that were unavailable, that just weren't there for me, that played a lot of games, that just never showed up for me. When they said they weren't men of their word, you know what I mean. They would violate me and I would just consistently, just, you know, want to be with that person. The more that they you know they, they were unavailable, the more I wanted to like change my, change who I was, to prove to them that I was worthy of love and you know, I was the right woman for them and I was not in an. You know, I, I would always make the. You know, after the guy treated me bad, whatever, I would always make the guy the villain. You know, I would villainize the guy and be like it's your fault, fault, it's his fault. You're the reason why we're this, you're the reason why I'm jaded, you're the reason why I'm hurt. And I was not.
Speaker 1:And listen, a lot of the times, listen, I didn't doubt what some demons OK, so they really were out here doing what they were they were doing, but I didn't take responsibility for my actions. I didn't take responsibility for putting myself in that situation. I didn't take responsibility for not walking away. I didn't take responsibility for letting them continue to treat me that way. I didn't take responsibility, I didn't take accountability, I didn't assess, I didn't reevaluate, I didn't do anything. I just kept saying what was me? You keep treating me bad and you're a villain.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean when we villainize people or villainize things in our minds, like we don't take accountability. That that gives me a reason not to step up and be like okay, I'm going to show up for myself. But when I, when I, when I came upon this gem of like, really taking a responsibility and being intentional about my life and showing up for my inner child and showing up for myself, it eliminates a lot of that bs. It eliminates a lot of. You know what I mean Like, because the minute I started talking to you and you started showing that you're wassy, that you're, you're emotionally available, you're trying to come do some things, I can take myself away. I can hold myself responsible and be like okay, esther, this is not a situation. This person is clearly showing patterns. I can take myself away from that situation. I don't have to villainize that person, but I can be like hey, listen, it's time for me to hit the old dusty trail. This is not for me, this is not working for me, and I can do it in a civilized way. It doesn't have to be no drama. It could just be deuces. I'm chucking up the deuces. It ain't for me. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:That's one thing that I'm learning and, as a young man, and just people out there can really like relation, like dating right now is just incredibly interesting. I always say there's like needles and fentanyl in the dating pool because it's giving crazy. There is some people out there that are nuts, but because they're not taking responsibility for their actions, there are grown men and grown women walking around that are wounded, okay, hurt, traumatized. That you know. They just just hey, like, I'm this way because of this, I'm this way because of this, take it or leave it. Listen, when you meet those type of people, run for the hills, run, bolt, usain Bolt, run for your life. Run for your lives Like run, because, yeah, that's like you. You listen.
Speaker 1:Kendrick said it the best I am not your savior, we are not their saviors. Jehovah Jireh, if you think you can be El Shaddai, you shall truly die. Okay, like, I'm not El Shaddai. I'm not Listen, I'm not El Shaddai. All I can do is try to be supportive and if, if that doesn't work, I got to go to do is try to be supportive. If, if that doesn't work, I gotta go like I hit the old dusting trail. You gotta be around people that want to be responsible and intentional also, or it's not gonna work. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So I really wanted to share that and I know I talk a lot about my experiences when it comes to like dating and men. But yeah, like you know what I mean, I would villainize them and I would you know. That would give me an excuse to you know, not be, not be better, not be better, and just an excuse to be like you're horrible, you hurt me and it's your fault. No, if I don't put myself in a position for you to play me, you can't play me. If I don't put myself in a position for you to mistreat me, you can't mistreat me. If I don't put myself in a position to you know what I mean, like you, when I build an expectation of you know, when I build an expectation of you know, and I have an, when we have expectations of people that clearly can't meet that expectation that we have, like we're just playing ourselves. That's all it is. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So I just want to close with I hope this blessed you, because I know it blessed me. I hope that you know, even though it's the third quarter, you take responsibility for your life. Take responsibility for your life, show up for yourself. You can do it. No one's going to do it for you, no one around you. God is not going to fall from heaven and do it for you. He's given you the tools and if you don't have the tools yet, learn, get into spaces, challenge yourself, have a growth mindset, wake up every day I'm not saying wake up every day, and you know what I mean. Like, oh my gosh, you gotta know. Wake up every, if it's just you know.
Speaker 1:Another thing I want to touch on too, excuse me reading, reading. Reading will help you. Reading will change your life. Read, get knowledge, acquire knowledge about what it is that your visions, your goals, your aspirations. Like you know, turn the Netflix off. This is for me to turn the Netflix off to the Nigerian movies off. Turn it off. You know what I mean. Read a book. Read a book. A book like, not some nonsense book. Read a book that's going to empower you, to empower other people. Do something, get in community, wake up, stand up, show up for yourself, be accountable, be intentional, have a growth mindset, try your best to become a light in a city of refuge for other people. You know what I mean. I'm listen, I'm here to just listen. I'm the messenger for my own life too. You know what I mean and and this is for me, this is for speaking ranges, for speak um. You know emotional conversations with Esther.
Speaker 1:Like I said to my, I was so sick and tired of coming on here and be like hey guys, pray for me. Like I'm going through so much. I'm going through so much. Um, yeah, okay, we're all going through some things. Everybody's going through something. You know what I mean. Everybody's going through something. But if this is what the Lord has given me, this is the assignment that the Lord has given me, then I need to take responsibility for the assignment and I need to show up as much as I possibly can. I need to fight for this vision. I need to fight for this, this, this purpose, because I know that this is a part of my purpose. You what I mean and I pray that you know. This blesses you.
Speaker 1:I wanted to make this short, but you guys know I'd be going. I'd be. I want the holy spirit be talking like listen, I'd be going, but listen, it's been super fun. I pray that you guys will continue to be, to empower yourself, continue to love on yourself, speak life into yourself, show up for yourself, be the people that you're looking for, be that thing that you're looking for. Um, yeah, I'm back on instagram y'all. Speaking arrangement. Speaking underscore arrangements um, esther estates. Send me an email, actually on my, on my. Um, when you guys go to listen to my podcast, if, wherever it is that you're listening, it says feedback. Like you guys can like text me. I really want to hear from you guys. I want to hear about the topics that you guys want me to talk about. If there's guests that you want me to connect with, I really would love to hear from you guys. Just feedback in general. You guys are awesome. I love you guys and, yeah, talk to you guys next friday. Y'all have an amazing weekend.